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A few years ago, I felt like bought confidence was the same as self confidence.
'Aren't they the same? One leads to the other, no?'
External confidence & internal confidence are 2 completely different things.
And I was able to learn this important life lesson in my early 20s.
'Not sure if I follow bro. I thought having the lavish items will make you feel more confident?'
Not quite homie.
Let me tell you a quick story...
When I was in the College of Engineering, I decided to take a shot at the business world.
I wanted to be more confident & felt like being rich would get me there.
So my college buddy and I decided to sell products from China on Amazon.
This was a brilliant game plan, right?
We were such newbies to eCommerce that we had no clue on how to find a profitable product.
We tried selling cellphone cases, Bluetooth beanies, wallets etc.
But time & time again, we failed.
But this was not going to deter us.
We were going to find a way!
So both of us began skipping classes to find that ONE winning product.
After weeks & weeks of searching, we finally noticed something.
'What was that?'
We saw a product that stuck out.
It was the 30 oz Stainless steel tumblers.
There was high demand & low supply at the moment.
The profit margins would be insane if we got it selling.
This product HAD to be a winner.
'Well, was it?'
Our prediction was correct. The tumblers began selling like hotcakes the week we put up a listing for it.
This was fucking incredible.
We soon got exactly what we wanted.
Our business started scaling a lot faster than we could imagine.
We had cash pouring in day in & day out.
'Did y'all feel any different?'
We felt the same way that we had before.
Actually, to be real, we felt more stressed.
Before we would go to school & that was about it.
We were going to school, talking with suppliers, managing our listings, financing and all that other bullshit.
Both of us felt more weighed down than ever.
I thought confidence was supposed to have the exact opposite effect?
Money didn't make us confident like we had hoped.
Hmm.. what gives?
I was very curious as to why this was the case.
It took me years & years to make sense of the experience.....
Until one day, I realized what was wrong.
'So what was the lesson?'
The lesson was that both my business partner & I had been working for the wrong reason!
We were working solely for money, nothing more.
'So? What else are you supposed to be working for then?'
We were supposed to be working for personal development, freedom, growth.
By working on becoming our best selves, money was simply supposed to be the byproduct.
The fact that we only had our focus channeled into the money caused us to work for a WHAT & never establish a WHY (more on this shortly).
Don't you see?
Confidence does not come from the external world, it comes from the internal.
Had I switched my focus from the outside to the inside, I would have felt 10x more fulfilled when I got all that money.
But I felt empty because I realized that material objects were never going to lead to LONG LASTING happiness.
Short burst of happiness? Sure.
But one that changes your entire way of existence? Nah.
At that point in my life, I learned in order to feel confident, I had to develop myself from within.
During my journey, I was able to learn a lot about myself.
I want to give you a few tips on how to build your self confidence.
» A confident life = A happy life = A more fulfilling life
If I were to tell you to drive your car in a new city, would you know where to go?
'Uh... not really.'
'Because I have no clue where to go.'
But what I gave you a picture of a famous building in my city & told you to find it?
'In that case, yes. I know a destination to go to, so I will find the answer.'
You need to develop who you want to become.
Paint a rough self image of the person that you wish to become.
Don't worry about making that person too detailed yet.
But have something to work towards!
The self image will clarify the more you hustle.
It's good to have a why.
But it's great to dig into your why.
'Hm... not sure what you mean, can you explain?'
How about I try it out on you!
What is your life purpose?
'To become a millionaire.'
'So I can buy cool stuff.'
'So I can impress cute girls.'
'So I can have a family.'
'So I can give my parents grand kids.'
Aha! So your deep why is to leave a legacy with your last name. It's more than just money, you see?
Keep digging until you get past the material possessions to the human desires.
The most effective way to build your confidence is thru building a skill.
And if you identified your why from the last step, then you are going to need skills to reach your goal!
'Why is skill building so important?'
It's important because you challenge yourself like none other.
You start off as a noob, & you make steady progress towards a goal.
And the beauty about a skill is that you never stop growing from it.
You never fully learn a skill. You learn it, then keep fine tuning & getting better from there.
Skill building allows you to come face to face with your flaws & conquer them.
Self Confidence 101.
You get the rapid heartbeat when you feel scared as fuck around something.
Most people distance themselves from the rapid heartbeat.
But you must run towards it.
'Run towards it?? But I'm scared!'
You will continue to be scared if you continue to run.
But if you make SLOW & STEADY progress, you will soon conquer your fear.
My biggest fear was public speaking back in the days.
So I signed up for a Toastmasters & kept giving speeches until my perception changed.
Conquering a fear has you feeling more powerful than ever.
One of the best ways to discover your hidden potential.
Self understanding leads to self confidence.
The journal is one of the best ways to get that level of understanding.
When you write, you connect your internal world with your external world.
You connect your conscious mind with your subconscious mind.
Journal for long enough & you will learn elements to you that you NEVER knew existed.
I don't want you to think too much about the grammar, word choices, sentence structure and all that.
Let the words flow.
You'll soon connect with your internal universe.
Meditation is an act that allows you to experience all of you.
If you look around in the real world, most people are running away from who they are.
They always keep the TV on, scroll thru social media, drink incessantly to avoid their thoughts & feelings.
Because our thoughts & feelings are not always as friendly as we would like.
Confront them anyways.
Meditate ATLEAST 5 minutes a day.
'Wow Armani, aren't you being a little superficial?'
Not at all.
Your mind controls your body & your body controls your mind.
Which is why if you want a sharp mindset, you need a sharp body.
Eat right, lift weights, do yoga & play a sport.
These 4 elements skyrocket your confidence.
People can take away your car, shoes, money. But they can't take away your physique.
When you fill your brain with knowledge, it feels like you are unlocking a 3rd eye.
Obviously, don't spend all day sitting on your ass reading.
But know when to educate yourself on topics that interest you.
Follow your curiosities.
Reading is an active way to rewire your subconscious mind.
So make sure you are consuming empowering information that is making you level up.
You become what you consume.
I always used to think gratitude was bullshit.
But honest truth?
Far from it.
Gratitude leads to self confidence, abundance mentality & a stronger spirit.
This requires you to celebrate your small and big wins.
Give yourself a round of applause.
I don't know the science behind this, but it works.
Make people laugh by telling jokes or a funny story.
A lot of people will not laugh, sure.
But a lot will.
As you learn the art of making people laugh, you feel a sense of fulfillment from within.
You begin to stop taking life so seriously.
You learn the art of being self amused.
But most importantly, you unlock your inner child.
When you unlock your inner child, you will feel a strong sense of self that has you feeling powerful.
Mentoring or teaching someone something that you know is by far one of the best ways to enhance self confidence.
You feel like an authority figure in someone's life by providing value.
And in today's internet world, you can become a mentor at SCALE!
By leveraging social media for growth.
Produce videos of your skill on Youtube.
Write about your experiences on Twitter.
Create a website to document your life.
As a mentor, you provide VALUE.
By providing value, you indicate to your subconscious mind that you're valuable.
Self value = Self confidence
These 11 tips will help you begin to cherish yourself more.
You no longer do things to have other people approve of you.
Self confidence will lead you to not caring if other people approve of you or not!
Because you approve of you.
Confidence is not something that can be bought or rented.
Confidence can only be cultivated after hard work & perseverance.
Someone asked me a while back, what is my life goal?
I told them it was to become my most confident self.
This gives me a goal to chase for LIFE.
By becoming my most confident self, I begin to attract solid relationships, money, abundance into my life.
I urge you to begin your journey towards self confidence today.
Make today better than yesterday & tomorrow better than today.
You'll be leveling up like a superstar.
Comment below on 1 life change that you will be making to exercise your self confidence!
- ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥